Find practical tips for new mothers returning to work, ensuring a healthy balance between career and family life.
Dr Veena H
When I had just become a first-time mom, a friend asked me, ‘how are you planning on balancing your career now that you have a baby?’ That question totally stumped me. In the rush and excitement of becoming a parent, I did not even think about what I was going to do when my maternity leave ended.
It’s been four years since that question, and I finally have the answer. I had to figure it out in the moment, but maybe you won't have to. This is what I learnt about working and being a mother.
Every mom dreads going back to work. Like so many other women out there, I struggled with the fact that after three short months at home with my baby, I had to return to work. Whether you are returning to your job because you love it or just to make ends meet, it’s stressful and can stir up emotions.
I was so fortunate to have such a brilliant support system. Sharing some of my responsibilities with my husband made a huge difference for me. By dividing the house chores and baby care, we both felt less overwhelmed and more connected. Open communication and flexibility helped us balance our responsibilities, making our home more harmonious.
Here's some tips:
Securing reliable childcare well before returning to work gave us peace of mind and made it easier to handle unexpected changes. We explored options, from local daycare to family care (read: the grandparents), ensuring our daughter felt comfortable with each choice. Knowing she was in good hands allowed us to focus better at work and reduced our anxiety.
It's already hard to say goodbye when you are used to spending all your time with your baby, but postpartum emotions can make it even more distressing. Hormonal changes, lack of sleep, or feeling out of control can make the comeback very challenging. Reaching out to your loved ones and getting the support you need to cope with your emotions is a major part of transitioning back to work.
Going back to work for me was a whirlwind of emotions—there was excitement to reconnect with my career, as well as a bit of anxiety and sadness. Leaving my little one even with her grandparents felt like a huge shift.
At the same time, I had doubts about my work too. "How will my reentry be?" "Will my colleagues accept me the same way, or will I feel out of place?" These are all very common doubts to have. Here's my suggestion from experience:
This is the time to reset your expectations with yourself and with the company.
Mom guilt crept in that I’d miss out on milestones and not be available enough for my daughter. Recently, I’ve realised that a working mom can teach valuable lessons over time, such as the importance of hard work and pursuing passions. Embracing this perspective helped ease the guilt and focus on the positives of our journey.
Reminding yourself of why you're doing what you're doing is the force that guides, motivates, and reassures you when the guilt weighs heavy. My 'why' was a mixture of personal and professional fulfilment.
Separation anxiety, too, is a part of this transition. It affects both you and your child. It's a natural response to a significant change, and it reflects the beautiful bond you share with your little one. But it will likely lessen as both of you ease into this change with comforting goodbyes.
Accepting help is the key to balance. Family and friends offer assistance, whether with childcare or emotional support. Knowing you have a supportive circle to rely on makes the transition feel more manageable.
Pro tip: Outsource one task a day. Whether it’s asking someone to buy provisions, fold laundry, or watch the baby for 30 minutes. Delegating these tasks, despite how easy they are, frees up mental space and helps you focus on what truly needs your attention. Start small, and you'll see how little acts of help can create big relief.
Embracing help is one of the best decisions we can make while making it a comfortable space for the baby. Simple things, like meal trains or occasional babysitting, provide precious time for us to recharge.
As a working mom, I have a new identity: I fulfil my work obligations and stay present during family time. This didn’t change all of a sudden—it took patience and kindness towards myself to know that I was enough as a mom and also a professional.
Creating a work-life balance that works for my family and me was crucial. I set boundaries around work, like designated “family time” each day. Small, consistent steps helped build a routine supporting my career and family.
The path to motherhood is a long one, but it doesn’t have to be miserable while you strive to keep the work and family balance.
But finally, I would only say that it's not a ‘one size fits all’ scenario. You are different, your child is different, and your situations are different. Trust that you will hack it through; give yourself time. You’re showing up every day and doing the best you can, and that’s something to be proud of.
FAQs
Start changes before you get back to work, for example, child care and home responsibilities. Set boundaries with regard to your work or speak to your human resources department to reduce work stress. When you return to work, take care of your health, well-being, and relationships.
The Maternity Benefit Act of 1961 in India recommends women take at least six weeks off work following childbirth.
Prepare for feeding. If the baby is a healthy weight and breastfeeding is established, pump one side in the morning at approximately one month aftetr birth. Explore childcare options. Rely on your support community, including your partner or your parents or siblings!
The best possible ways to bond with your baby when you're working: Spend quality time with your baby on days you are not working. Set a routine in the morning and the evening with the baby. Make the most out of feeding time and bath time. Read stories before bedtime.
The decision to go back to work after your maternity leave can be a challenging and emotional experience, with feelings of anxiety, guilt, and uncertainty often dominating the decision-making process.
